Sarcasm is my only defense
If you think getting rid of contractions in all your sentences makes your argument any more legitimate, you are wrong.


Britt. 23. American. ENFJ. Journalist. Aspiring author.

cartel:

when you think you’re doing good in class and you get your first assignment back

image

bckyb4rnes:

youngmushroom:

hwatlarry:

  • if you are a vegan
  • great!
  • tell me and i will never serve you meat and/or try to question you about it
  • but if you ever
  • ever
  • tell me that im a killer
  • or try to make me feel bad
  • for eating meat
  • i
  • will
  • eat
  • you

ok but consider this: you should feel bad.

ok but consider this: i WILL eat you

windwolf0097:

dirtylittledamsel:

this is more dramatic than a Lana Del Rey music video

misspryss:

julstorres:

survivablyso:

buckybarneswho:

Let’s be honest everyone would rather watch a Black Widow movie than antman

I’d rather watch Black Widow file her taxes than an Ant Man movie

Well you have to admit her work-related expenses would tell some pretty interesting stories all by themselves

Black Widow orders towels online: the movie

Black Widow reorganizes her sock drawer: the movie

Black Widow cleans her gutters: the movie

Still more exciting than Ant Man

spooky-macedonian:

hotbisexualarmydoctor:

fen-1994:

Why do you keep saying that?!

Heteronormativity in action.

Ramona don’t have time for your bisexual erasure

bisexual people when they see bisexual erasure

inksplattersandearlyhours:

"Fred Potter, I actually let your mother name you after the bravest man she knew, instead of making it all about me. Now promise me that you’ll take a picture of McGonagall’s face when she realises the prankster legacy you and James plan to live up to. Awesome. High five.”

Mythology Asks

Anubis: How do you feel about death?
Atum: What are your greatest imperfections?
Bastet: Do you have any cats?
Hathor: What brings you joy?
Horus: What is one thing you've had to fight for in your life?
Osiris: Do you believe in the underworld?
Ra: Do you have any major responsibilities or importance?
Thoth: Do you like to read/write?
Arawn: What is the most terrifying thing you've ever done?
Bran: How is your health?
Brighid: Tell us about your relationship with your father.
Cernunnos: What is your favorite animal?
Danu: What is your relationship with your mother?
Morrigan: What do you think happens when we die?
Olwen: What is your favorite flower?
Rhiannon: Have you ever been betrayed?
Bragi: What kind of music do you listen to?
Freya: Have you ever been in love?
Freyr: Do you have any children?
Hœnir: Are you a silent or talkative person?
Iounn: How old are you?
Loki: What is the best trick you've ever pulled on someone?
Odin: What is your family like?
Thor: Would you consider yourself pretty powerful?
Tree: What have you done with your life? What are you going to do with it?
Aphrodite: What do you think of yourself?
Ares: Are you an easy person to anger?
Athena: Would you consider yourself an artist?
Apollo: Do you play any instruments?
Dionysus: Do you drink?
Hades: Do you have a bad reputation?
Hekate: Have you ever tried to communicate with the dead?
Hermes: Have you ever stolen anything?
Poseidon: Are you a moody person?
Zeus: Are you a confident person?
Jupiter: Would people say that you are intimidating or fairly approachable?
Pluto: Where do you think we go when we die?
Apollo & Dianna: Do you prefer to be up during the day or at night?
Mars: Have you ever gotten into a fight?
Minerva: Do you generally give good advice?
Proserpine: Have you ever felt trapped?
Plutus: Do you have a job?
Venus: Have you ever had your heart broken?
Vesta: Do you like being home or do you try to get out whenever you can?
Morpheus: Do you daydream often? Of what?

kitty-latte:

radicalfruit:

a-s-d-f-g-h-j-k-l-no:

gorillamunchies:

why does this make me feel mad

Because he’s considered powerful, and she’s considered a whore.

*shots fired*

i think they were referring to the fact that thEY’RE BOTH DEFYING THE FUCKING LAWS OF GRAVITY AND THE ONE TIME I TRIED HANGING OFF A MONKEY BAR I BROKE MY NOSE

viwan themes